


Death Wish

by Omnicat



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:36:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnicat/pseuds/Omnicat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you have a death wish?" he had asked her. Over time, she learned to answer with "Yes." And now, she has learned to make him stop asking. He’ll never ask again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Nederlands available: [Doodswens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9102727) by [CattyRosea (Omnicat)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnicat/pseuds/CattyRosea)



"Do you have a death wish or something?" the first time he asked her that, it had been in anger.

She’d been lying in bed. A hospital bed on board the Peacemillion spacecraft. The question wasn’t one that had surprised her, after all she’d done. His rage hadn’t surprised her either, though the intensity was more than she’d anticipated. His eyes had burned with it like she’d never seen before. His posture had tautened with it, and taken an instinctual looming position over her. It had frightened her, seeing him like that. The fact that it was because of her had twisted her gut in more than one way. But she hadn’t budged. Her eyes had been wide with fear, but her face set with defiance.

When she hadn’t answered, he’d repeated it in anguish. "Do you have a death wish?"

He had lowered his head - to hide the tears suddenly threatening to spill - and let his shoulders slump, his hands limply uncurling from the way they had been balled to white-knuckled fists before. He had dropped to his knees right next to the bed. "O Duo, of course not!" She had answered then, but though negative in response to his question, what she told him of her desire to help and stand by him hadn’t been to his satisfaction, it seemed. It had been the first time she’d seen him cry, and the first time he refused to tell her why. But it had certainly not been the last.

"Do you have a death wish, Hilde?" The next time he’d asked her, it had been in a metallic voice, from a mouth set in a face devoid of any emotion.

This time, it had been him that lay in bed. His bedroom in her home, where both of them had lived together for many months already, safe and healthy. She’d answered, startled, with a confused: "No. I have a different wish." The way she was dressed - or rather, undressed - should have made that clear, shouldn’t it? He’d thrown her out. Just like that. No explanation, no apology. She had been utterly dumbfounded. Afraid to speak to him or even look him in the eye for days. Probably for the best. His cheer hadn’t skipped a beat towards her from the morning after onwards, which had confused her even more. But it still hadn’t been the least of the confusion he would cause her.

Because then he asked her for the fourth time. "Do you have a death wish?" Deep, sultry and so very seductive.

She lay in her own bed this time, and he loomed over her again. Shivers ran down her spine at his words. As she looked up at the way the lamppost outside her window illuminated some parts of his features and bare chest, and cast others in shadow, she finally understood what he meant. "Yes." she breathed, entranced by the beautiful, darkened deity. It was one of the last untroubled breaths she took that night, before his lips crashed down on hers and their bodies melted together. He was conscious enough to put on a condom beforehand, and when he asked her if she was satisfied afterwards, she repeated "Yes." wholeheartedly.

He kept asking her from that moment onwards: "Do you have a death wish?"

She kept answering positively. She understood now, after all. But the outcome changed, and she became confused again. He made love to her every time, tenderly and lovingly, and she made love to him in the same way, hoping that this time, he wouldn’t cry. But every time he came - after making sure she was satisfied - she felt tears stream down his face. If she told him that somebody’s bare shoulder wasn’t the best place to hide your tears, he laughed, kissed her, and cheered up almost immediately. He never answered when she asked him what it was that was bothering him, though. He just cried and held her and claimed that everything would be alright.

He asks her the familiar question. "Do you have a death wish?"

She says "Yes.", and they make love, and Duo’s tears form the only stains on the sheets. She finally understands. Hilde brushes away the tears and he looks up at her, his lashes wet, his cheeks glistening and his eyes surprised. She takes off the condom and pulls him close again. "No more of this, Duo. Don’t ask me ever again. You are alive, I am alive.

That’s not going to change. We’ll live our lives and let other lives live. No more Death." He stares at her, and in his eyes, he sees that he finally accepts. "No more death." he repeats softly.

He’ll never ask again.

She’ll cut his braid in a few long months time. A baby of Duo Maxwell and Hilde Schbeiker does not mix well with swishy objects within its reach, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments on older fics will ALWAYS remain welcome.


End file.
